This is a notice from the office of the director for home security.
Current warning level: hot pink. Everybody loves hot pink.
This memo is intended to inform the public of a growing menace known as the Sugar Bandit. He was brought to our attention by one of our operatives, codenamed Agent Mom. Agent Mom reports that the Sugar Bandit leaves sugar all over the counter and floor. What could cause someone to do such a heinous thing? The only thing we can think of is a sick, twisted mind. We've run a psych profile, and it seems likely that the sugar bandit is a Male, possibly Caucasian, probably in his early 20s. He should be regarded as armed and dangerous. Or sickeningly sweet. The public is advised to pass any and all tips along to our tip number: 1 888 bandito. If you think you know who the Sugar Bandit is, do not approach him... he could inflict harm at the slightest provocation. Beware the Sugar Bandit.
Thank you. This has been a public service notice.
My name is andymack, and I approved this message.
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4 comments:
A wise man keepeths the 13th commandment: if thou art an able-bodied adult, cleaneth up thine own messes. Thy future bride will thanketh thee (and me).
You know, as a doctor, i've seen alot of this, and i must say, this "thirteenth" commandment nonsense seems to come from a person like the MommaMack. You may need a second opinion, but i don't think so.
M.M. Buntington, M.D. Nova, Minnesota
Dear Doctor, are you familiar with this one?
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
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