Figurin' life out

You know, it's funny, but somehow January 1 inspires in us (or in me at least) a desire to figure life out. There's a perception that somehow, during the night between December 31 and January 1, the whole world regenerates, or becomes new, or something. Not that that's a bad thing. After all, who couldn't use a second chance? This date that we've arbitrarily (as far as I can tell) set as marking the New Year gives us that opportunity. A new year is a good thing. It's also a little bitter sweet. For me, it involves looking over the past year and seeing where I've failed spiritually, relationally, even physically (darn those 15 extra pounds I'm carrying around). I've spent over a year without a significant committed relationship (unless you count me and the boys, who should all be committed). Have I learned from that? Sure, probably a little. But have I learned everything there is to learn? Not as of yet. I've watched families fall apart. I've watched families join together. I've visited family in the hopital. I visited the hospital once for myself (and to Dr. Buntington, thanks for your help). I've laughed. I've cried. I laughed a lot more than I cried, but I inherently don't cry very often. The past year seems to have been shorter than any year in my memory. It was actually a day longer than most of the ones I remember. I'm more confused than ever by girls, but maybe, just maybe, through everything I've done and been through this year, i've learned more about myself. That is worth it. Maybe I've learned more about who God is. That is more worth it.

If I could wish for anything in 2005—for myself and for you, my friend—it'd be that in 2005 we'd believe God to be who He is. I think that every other time in my life that I've used the term "it's probably my biggest problem" could be summed up in that statement. I just don't believe that God is who He has revealed Himself to be. If I did, all those other things, like discipline, faithfulness, obedience, joy, graciousness, and so on, wouldn't be at all a problem. Okay, Okay, wouldn't be as much a problem.

So, until I see you next :

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
(Lamentations 3:22-24, ESV)

You don't have to wait for January 1st to come back around before you can get a new start.