Make-up talk

Okay guys, this kind of follows along the same vein of my last post, but seriously... what's with make-up product talk? I started thinking about this the other night; I was in my bathroom the other night washing my hands, and I took a look at the hand soap bottle ... Now, please note, i probaby wouldn't be able to pick a good hand soap if I tried; my mom bought it for me. But, on the bottle it says "Vitalizing." Now, i've heard of re-vitalizing, but can a soap be just vitalizing? Then, we were watching TV, and some pretty girl who was way too skinny and wearing way too much makeup started talking about the fresh feeling she gets from her make-up, how it awakens her skin and soothes it and such. WHAT?! It's make-up! Holy cow! It's like a bad book review! Words that make no sense! Why not say "My make-up highlights the facial features I want to highlight." Or something like that--something that makes sense? All this metaphysical, soothing fresh feeling hoighty toighty crap has driven me up the wall! Let's use true words, and leave the marketing BS for the people selling "Oil-Based, Non-Dairy whipped topping."


citizens for accurate food names

Dear friends with a capital f. wait wait wait, let me start again

Dear Friends,

Today, a global menace has creeped ever closer to taking over. Up til now, we've sat by and kept quiet. We can do so no longer. It's not as though it's any one particular thing... but it's rather the conglomeration of ever expanding mis- or mal- named products that have driven us to this point. Whether it's the "Roasted Chicken" sub at Subway (roasted? chicken?) the filet o' fish at McyD's (fish? filet?) or the 100% beef burgers also at McDonalds, this has just gone far enough. There's a definite line between good marketing and just plain lying. Good marketing doesn't lie about products, it casts them in the best possible light. Cool Whip just sounds better than "No Name Oil-Based, Non-Dairy Topping." Plus, Cool Whip is easier to write on trademark forms. "No Name Oil-Based..." well, you get the point. Just dumb. We're not arguing that companies tell us precisely what the product is IN the name, just that the name doesn't explicitly lie. Let us lie to ourselves about the product! Everyone knows we will.

For a limited time only, CFAFN (yes, that's pronounced exactly how it looks... except, if you could give it the same inflection that Jo Jo the Super Nanny would, that'd be a little better) will grant the use of our exclusive "Our Trademark Doesn't Lie" sticker to organizations that meet the accurate marketing requirements, as well as a couple of other ones (ie. lots of cash. In fact, you don't even need to meet those other requirements if you have lots of cash. Call my cell, we'll talk)... Er, Um... yeah, so look for the "Our Trademark Doesn't Lie" sticker on all the products you buy.

And, this exciting news just in - Walmart is the first brand to qualify for the "Our Trademark Doesn't Lie" sticker! Lets give a hand to the Walton clan, and the 6 million dollars it cost them to license the sticker. Also, we'll be producing a special sticker for use in the alabama market: the "Our Trademark Don't Lie" sticker.


also, oil-based, non-dairy topping sucks.


what do you give to the person who already has everything?

Now playing: caedmon's call guild 99 concert bootlegs. Pretty sweet. I'll say.

You know, sometimes I feel like that guy who already has everything, except I feel like i've already blogged everything. That's not even possible. But, in the little box that I've painted my blog into, maybe I really don't have anything left to say. maybe I need to start being sillier and writing about jumping beans and prada backpacks. You know, I think I'm just desperate to be relevant and sound cool. And that's pretty pathetic. So, as I try to figure out how to blog with integrity, I'm gonna go and eat chocolate. Chocolate helps me think.



... my life feels like a loop of the Fatboy Slim Praise You video... if you don't remember it, download it somewhere, you'll see what I mean.


just another day

You know guys, sometimes weeks go by and I feel like i have nothing to say. That is frustrating. Right now is one of those times. I hope everyone's doing good and having fun. I hope sometime soon, i have something to say.


an interesting article

Note: I do not EVER read GQ. Someone on a webboard I read referenced this article, and I was curious, given the fact that it's a journalist from a guy's magazine (a genre that I don't associate with, say, journalistic integrity), and it's about Christian music. It's worth a read (if you can handle a few swears) and it'll certainly give you something to think about, even if you don't think his conclusions about faith are necessarily right.

so, read the article!


an ammendment to the previous news release

It is the unfortunate responsibility of the Office of the Press Secretary for the House Mackay, having given the situation some time to allow for clearing of the air, to announce that the aforementioned relationship is now not to be aforementioned again. The media's understanding is appreciated in this matter. We expect that all car chases involving members of the press and the girl involved in the un-aforementioned relationship will cease and desist at once. Let this also serve notice that pedro has offered us his protection, and anyone who messes with the House Mackay regarding the un-aforementioned relationship will be faced with a chat with "Pedro's Cousins with the sweet hookups." You have been warned. Thank you.

The Office of the Press Secretary for the House Mackay

winston churchill ate my girlfriend.

i am samwise

Just wanted to say folks... I am Samwise. It's like being tiger woods, only possibly better, but with less swedish supermodels to hang out with. I'll point out also that it was a two-way tie with being Gandalf. I'm like a super hobbit. YES!!!

You scored as Samwise. You're Samwise Gamgee! Samwise the brave is the most loyal friend that you could ever ask for. He'll be there for you through thick and thin, and be willing to do anything for you.
"There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."



















Which LOTR character are you?
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