fickleness and fancy

now playing: the long day is over // norah jones from come away with me

Fancy. Fancy that. I fancy that. I fancy that. Hmm, such an interesting word to have dropped from usage almost altogether. The concept behind it used to be "being inclined toward someone/thing". Today I am frustrated. A good friend of mine has repeatedly quoted to me that "Purity of heart is to will one thing". Man, we stink at this! We have set our fancy on so many things. Whether it's possessions or people, or position, or (insert another p word, so as to make this sentence sound like the thesis from a brethren sermon), our desires are so varied and so divided! You know, in days past, one whose loyalties were divided was called a TRAITOR and could be summarily executed.

Think about that. Traitor. Deserter. Coward. These are words that once sparked intense hatred and general derision. And now, we are all guilty of it. What got me thinking about this was the whole realm of interpersonal relationships. We're fickle about them. But, as with everything, the various paths that my mind take ultimately lead me back to the fact that, as faithless as we are sometimes with our friends, significant others, etc., we are ever so much more fickle when it comes to our dealings with God. I think it'd be good if we could regain our hatred for divided loyalties, fickleness, and the like. ONLY IF we can develop the hatred for it in ourselves first and foremost. I can so easily point out the sliver in your eye, but darned if I can see the log in my own.

Class was good today. And, I even managed to write the first draft of my Churchill paper this afternoon. Which is good, since it's due tomorrow. Which means I have to revise it when I get home from work.

So, did you hear what happened to Laura and Amy this morning? They showed up late, and I'm sure that, like me, you had to stop and wonder what went down. Now, the average person would go "hmm, they don't want to talk about it, so I'll leave it alone." But, i've never been the average person, have I? (Look at the size of that nose!) So, in the time honoured tradition of Sherlock Holmes, Bill O'Rielly, Paul Harvey, and Encyclopedia Brown, I did some investigation. The following may be shocking, especially to those of you who live in the nice (i.e. East) part of town.
Our story begins with Laura not locking her back door last night. In life, it's the little things that end up making the big problems (and by little things, I do mean not locking the back door, not Laura herself). Now, as those of you who live anywhere but East City know, the North/West end is the hive of mob activity in the 'Borough. Not everyone is so privileged as we Village dwellers are. Anyway, last night, issues between Uncle Carlito CVII (west end Mob boss) and his nephew Carlito CVXXII blew up. As a result, both of Carlito CVII's sons (Carlito CVIII and Carlito CVIV) were out chasing Carlito CVXXII, along with some chap named Bernard. Unfortunately for Carlito CVXXII, we all know that you can mess with the mob, but you can't mess with some chap named Bernard. So, Bernard got the drop on ol' CVXXII (yes, that is pronounce cee vee ex ex two I). Now, interestingly enough, Bernard needed some place to store the body. And, a Mercury Topaz' back seat is more than enough room to store a body in. And, as he was working for the West-end mob king, the location of Laura's Topaz (half way North, halfway West) was rather ideal. So, Bernard stored CVXXII in the back seat of Laura's topaz, fully intending to deal with the body by sunrise.
Of course, if you mess with CVXXII, you mess with all his friends. Unfortunately for Bernard, CVXXII's friends included Leonardo Di Caprio. Wait... he's not dangerous at all! He's kinda girly, actually! Oh yeah, that's it... his girlish looks caught Berny (can I call him berny?) off guard. And so, Berny got a new pair of shoes. Cement shoes, if you know what I mean... Anyway, this morning, Laura and Amy get in the car to go to school. And, as they turn onto Brealy, they realize that there's a dead guy in the back seat. (That they didn't notice until now can be forgiven, since the topaz is such a big car that it's hard to see everything in there). So, they dumped the body at Tim Hortons, since everyone knows that Tim Hortons is the place to dump dead bodies (kinda like the cities of refuge from the Old Testament, but with more caffeine). Thus, they were 15 minutes late. (Which, by the way, is a new mob record for getting rid of a body... Amy and Laura, if you read this, Carlito CVII would like you to give him a call... he said (and I quote) "you gotta do somethin' for the family") And now you know the rest of the story.

Anyway, i gotta get ready for work. Selling cell phones... a lot of them, I hope. I wish you all a wonderful evening. Until next time, keep it real.

the above account of events was conjecture. Except for the tim hortons part. And the fifteen minutes late part. And maybe some other minor details. I'll leave those up to you to guess (hint: watch obituaries).
that wasn't even funny